UPDATE: Why Do I Feel Like I’m Going Crazy???

Posted: September 26, 2012 in Christians and The Church, Prophecy
Tags: , , , , ,

Just wanted to share something with you all that I picked up in the Spirit. I will do my best to keep it short, brief, and powerful… Here’s hoping for a miracle! haha

The Shift…

Around the end of August/beginning of September, there was a shift in the spiritual realm. The former season was one of God pouring out great vision and anticipation, but now He has now brought us into a season of deeper intimacy to keep the focus His presence. God is pulling His church into areas of His presence and heart we’ve never been.

I felt the shift when it happened but was unsure exactly what it was that I felt. My heart began to long for the Lord in a new way and I had this overwhelming need for more of Him. At one point I actually declared, “If I don’t get more of you Abba, if I don’t go deeper, if I don’t know more, I am going to die.” I felt like I was going nuts!

It was at this point that I started receiving emails, Facebook messages and phone calls from people around the country expressing the same feeling. Since then other leaders in my life have confirmed it. God is drawing His people into a unified intimacy.

An Exhortation…

The verse for this season is Proverbs 25:2, “It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out.”

What does that mean? God hides things for His sons and daughters to seek out. It’s a divine scavenger hunt of sorts. God is putting a longing in the hearts of His people to go deeper than ever before. What we’re going after will not be surface level. It is something of substance and sustainability. We will come out the other end so undone by the Love of Christ that we will wonder if we were even Christians before the shift! I see it as a well buried deep beneath the earth’s surface. We will dig and dig, and when we get weary, we’ll dig some more. When we find this well it will be as a geyser blowing up in our faces. It is lasting and will purify us of anxiety and worry.

I exhort and encourage you to chase after the heart of God like never before. Get to know Him by spending time with Him in prayer, fasting*, and by reading the Word (aka the Manifesto of God’s Soul). When it feels like you’re not getting anywhere, ask the Holy Spirit for grace to press on. It will be worth it and I promise you it will be life changing!

This process is essential for what God’s about to take us into. You and I will never be the same.

This picture is awesome! Where deeper intimacy meets promise…

The Tactic of the Enemy…

I don’t like to give the enemy any credit or give him any power, but I do believe it is important to understand his plan so we can avoid falling into his lies. Remember his job description: “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.” He can steal, kill and destroy your dreams** by convincing you to walk into them before the time is right. He’s a liar.

In this time there are a few things the enemy is going to try to do.

  1. Make us worship vision, not the God of the vision.
  2. Convince us to skip the process and chase after our dreams so that we will burn out and hurt our relationships with others along the way.
  3. Lose focus of the purpose of this season (INTIMACY with GOD) by bringing DISCORD.

I want to take a second and explain #3. On Wednesday the 19th, another shift happened and this one was not of God. The Holy Spirit gave me the word DISCORD. The enemy is trying to sow discord into the Body. This can look like getting frustrated and not knowing why, surmounting or sudden financial issues, disputes or rebellion within in the Body, family troubles, etc. Why? The enemy wants us to take our focus off of God’s goodness and presence and turn our focus to our “problems”. Beware of the “woe is me” attitude. If you focus on your problems, they’ll become your god. If you focus on God, your problems will fade away. It’s all about going deeper with Jesus! Trust Him.

In Summary…

Love God. Walk through the process. Go deeper. Be forever changed by His Love.

“You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.” Psalm 63:1

“My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the LORD; my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God.” Psalm 84:2

“For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere.I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness.” Psalm 84:10

To God Be All The Glory!

*Fasting must be done in the right way. Remember, fasting changes us not God. New Covenant fasting is different than Old Covenant fasting. Now we fast as a way to say “God, You sustain me. You are the reason I live and breathe.” With every hunger pain we send a prayer to go in worship saying He’s worth it all. Please be smart and don’t fast in a way that is dangerous to your physical health.

**I’m using dreams to describe the heart level desires God has placed there that are specific to each person. Always place your dreams before the Lord and seek Him for what’s from Him and what’s not. Your dreams don’t have to be “churchy” to be from God. You living out your calling on this planet is what’s important. Do it all for the glory of God and enjoy the journey.


  1. Oh my goodness. Hallelujah! ________________________________

  2. ambassador, servant, friend, & daughter of the living God says:

    =) God loves me wow…thanku. keep seeking Him. We all will. God give us strength!!!!!!! a couple months ago, offers to pursue a dream i was waiting for came up. i had been prophesied about by this dream of my heart by countless random leaders and peers but no obvious lead or fruit had come. i didn’t feel it…even though i wanted to show the world and the church that i often don’t seem to fit into that i’m valuable for something great; plus, i ached so bad since i was a child bc i had these gifts i wanted to use more than i wanted food sometimes ..i felt God say wait..and i accepted it with confidence and peace that all I need is Him and felt proud to feel that way;…but i wondered if anyone would agree that i was really hearing from God or if I was using my need for more of Him to procrastinate. that morning when i declined…YOUR name came into my mind. then i got online and u had just posted this huge letter about going through a similar thing with film and ur dream. i felt sooo good reading that and thought..”man, i’m in a good place! things are going so well. i choose Jesus over everything!”…then the worst family discord and betrayal happened…i was caught off guard…hurt like never before and thought of giving up. Rod, who didn’t know the details of course, prophesied some encouragement and said that i should press in more. I couldn’t do it though. it hurt so bad; but shortly after, God showed me many things and gave me a new word for the season: “persevere”. This morning…and this month even….i have little taste for regular things even…i find my spirit craving the need to feel deeper things. I feel foolish for ever feeling this before and not having gotten further along in my Christian walk. like u said…was-i-even-Christian-before kinda feeling. i felt like..God loves me so much, and in the way that i am now…the capacity to feel that love and power is way too small and i NEED a more pliable spirit..or heart …or whatever part of me it is that feels the presence of God. i keep seeing the beginning of a ship urging speedily forward in dark waters every time i get weary or my flesh wants to run and get discouraged about lack of wanted progress. thank you for once again, being transparent enough to post ur business. This should be an interesting voyage.

  3. The lady above said it all…and more! Thank you lady for being transparent, as well. As for me, I can only say “Thank you” Ryan for these words. I have felt so dead lately, and as if I were only partly alive. This makes me think that my super-hungry spirit was forcing me to experience my wilderness thirst and starvation…forcing me to stop ignoring it. Thank you for some clear steps and instructions, we all need that sometimes. Blessings to you, brother!

  4. Noah says:

    Thank you so much for posting this. I felt the shift exactly at the end of August, the discord has been popping up in my family and so have disputes. this has been very encouraging for me to read because i know that God is good and he is moving things around to his liking. i have been having heavy desires and not knowing if i should pursue them or not, but in reality i just need to trust God and let him continue making me new and he will not let me down. Romans 12:1-2 “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

  5. Becky says:

    “He can steal, kill and destroy your dreams by convincing you to walk into them before the time is right.” That is SO True. Waiting on the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning is so important. Abiding in Him, watching for Him, listening for Him above all else. We have so much more joy when we are completely reliant on Him. Good words.

  6. […] This poem was birthed from another post I wrote called UPDATE: Why Do I Feel Like I’m Going Crazy??? […]

  7. Leslie says:

    I can not believe that I found this. I was so desperate for an answer, to understand. This explains so very much. It’s encouraging to know I am not alone! Thank you for sharing.

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